They called us ‘complicated.’
Ball Busting Alpha Women Should Date Alpha Men And Have An Affair With Them But Marry Gentle Beta Men.
“The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don’t know how to screw you.” -Samantha Jones
Are you an alpha female who struggles to find a perfect partner? Can being a high-flyer woman compromise your chances when you are looking for a relationship? Does your successful career really make it more difficult for you to find a partner? Are career-oriented women having these problems partly because men find them intimidating?
With your reputation for ambition, determination and success, you can be seen by men as intriguing but intimidating; attractive yet aloof.
As the singer Alanis Morissette puts it: “Alpha men are very turned on by the alpha woman – really high chemistry, really fun to work with, probably really fun to have affairs with. But there can only be one person in the driver’s seat.”
You’re hardly going to settle for just anyone.
More than likely you want the best; ideally an alpha male to match your ambition. Not necessarily a perfect gentleman but a man that can at least compliment your social and economic power pound for pound. That said, there is plenty of evidence that suggests millions of very loveable successful women are single.
A woman defines an alpha male as someone who is vocal about what he wants and who does everything to get it.
An alpha male is not just cocky out loud, but there is a semblance of authority in his voice that seems to attract others, male or female. The alpha male is the guy who seems to be leading the pack, the hunter, the ever-reliable male god. Women do not only like alpha males; they adore them! Alpha males are the stuff that women's romantic imaginations are of. These are men who get women's attention wherever they go. The attraction lies in the power seemingly possessed by alpha males. It's not really just about the money but it is about strength in character and the ability to be respected by his peers.
Alpha males are born leaders, confident and almost aggressive. These are the qualities that make women swoon over the alpha male. This confidence manifests itself in the way they carry themselves and the way they deal with others.
Most alpha males are attracted to strong and outstanding women. Women are attracted to the alpha because of the confidence that emanates from them. Women love the alpha male for being assertive, of being able to know he can do it and doing something to achieve what he wants to do.
Powerful women usually want to date a man who is just like they are -- smart, successful and respected.
So many powerful women can’t find a man to marry? Powerful women are seen too manly. They are not young enough. They are bossy, domineering and controlling. They offer a job, an education, looks, but there’s such a hard edge. Women who are high powered are not very funny. Men are intimidated by high-powered women. This stereotype haunts many women who have made it to the top of the ladder.
One striking similarity with nearly all successful men from a varied pool – including entrepreneurs, politicians, bankers, doctors, lawyers – is that they invariably choose to marry introverted or timid women, the type that seem, sorry to say, bland.
They rarely wife up extroverted, charismatic women. men are intrigued by the idea of conquering a confident female.
The alpha male to whom powerful women are attracted does not want to marry a woman who is a clone of himself. The alpha man might love her mind but will quickly tire of competing with her for the leadership role.
More than likely, this man is looking for a woman who will let him give, who will appreciate everything he does for her. The inability for powerful women to receive from a man is why powerful men often turn to younger women for companionship. It's not necessarily the eye candy he's looking for. It's the appreciation he craves that younger women give to him by joyfully receiving his gifts. An alpha male wants to cherish his woman by showing her he can protect her financially, emotionally and physically to the best of his ability. This role makes a woman feel safe and protected.
So why do successful men avoid marrying total package women?
Surely he wants a wife that can match his pedigree? His success? His power? His charm? So they can build an empire together; not quite.
Given that most successful women desire self-assured men with good leadership skills – i.e better versions of themselves – an alpha male isn’t looking for himself (an alpha female). Men are wired the opposite to women and judge a potential partner on completely different terms.
An alpha male is certainly attracted to the total package.
Stunning, smart, assertive, good income, sense of humour.
Because successful women work hard to accomplish great qualities though unfortunately, those traits can easily switch to ugly traits and become a turn off over time, particularly when there is an ego involved.
The good side vs the ugly (ego) side.
The ugly side of stunning is being vain.
The ugly side of being smart is being opinionated.
The ugly side of assertiveness is being arrogant.
The ugly side of a good income is being superficial.
The ugly side of a sense of humour is being sarcastic.
The ugly side of being direct is being blunt.
The ugly side of being passionate is being selfish.
The ugly side of being talkative is not listening.
Of course not every woman that is stunning is vain, and not every woman that is smart is opinionated.
When a direct woman dates a man, she tells him exactly how she feels; that means the good, the bad and the ugly; when he runs away because he doesn’t want to be criticized she typically thinks he’s too weak to get her opinion.
There is only room for one big ego in a relationship.
Alpha male personality types have big egos and find it harder to date women with big egos. It’s not that alpha men are not attracted to beautiful, smart, ambitious alpha women…it’s just that you are probably showing off the ugly side of your qualities (list above) – more than necessary – which will cause both of you to argue and clash. Of course this is a double edged sword and his ego maybe a trait you can’t deal with – it’s up to you to decide.
Alpha males of every race value and marry women that make them feel good.
If your intellect arouses intense debate on every topic imaginable, challenging and acting combative when it comes to decision making: you’ll definitely be the woman he wants to hire.
But who does he want to marry?
The woman who cares for him.
The woman who laughs at his jokes (even when they’re not funny).
In theory, power women like his decisiveness, but in reality power women often have a hard time letting him be the leader. Power women just need to start looking past the competitive, domineering alpha male.
However every good trait does have an ugly side; generally speaking the greater the trait the uglier the other side.
So the more beautiful a woman is, or thinks she is, the vainer she is likely to be, due to the fact she is more conscious of her beauty and society lauds her looks, therefore she will naturally spend more time preening herself. The same rule applies to men, the more educated and powerful a man is, the bigger his ego is likely to be as he has a status to protect.
Alpha female pros.
The alpha female is playful and interesting. She will make sure to be entertaining and confident as she entertains you. She intrigues her man with her broad knowledge and makes him laugh. She won’t be needy and call 500 times a day. She has other things to do. As she plans to be financially independent, she won’t rely on her husband too much in those matters. She will bring passion to the relationship, always making it interesting. Being sexually confident, she will take you places you had little idea of existed, and will be open to trying new things. Having a broad network of important contacts, she will gladly introduce you to her circle of royalties, socialites and other influential individuals. Having an alpha woman as your date will increase your stock on the social scene.
You work hard to stay on top of your game:
1. You’re driven and self sufficient
2. You have a good career and excellent grades
3. A boday
4. A beautiful face
5. You’re classy
6. Perhaps you’re in a sorority
7. And you love your identity
They are born leaders, clever and pretty. They are successful, goal-driven and ambitious. They are not easily impressed. The type of man they hope to attract is one that is like they – confident, creative and most of all, NOT average.
They pay for everything. Alpha females don’t want a man to feel like they owe him anything, ever. So they insists on going “Dutch” on dates, or even paying for the entire date, just so they can remain in control.
They date multiple men at a time. Most alpha females don’t feel the need to commit, because they don’t have to. They are extremely confident, which is never a bad thing, unless of course their confidence comes across as arrogance or cockiness. A true alpha female knows how to show confidence without being condescending or combative, and she doesn’t feel the need to prove her intelligence by being right all the time.
You made your career choice and now you have to live with it. You are not owed a relationship.
The brutal truth is that high-powered women are much too masculine to be attractive. If the high-powered woman does not want a girly-man, most men do not want a macho woman.
After all, what's sexy about a woman who has a high-power job, doesn't need a man's money, can go toe-to-toe with anyone, is paid to out-think other intelligent people, and makes her living off of her PASSION? Nothing according to most men. It’s very challenging for high-powered women to get a date.
So what is a powerful woman to do? Find a Beta man.
A beta male is a better fit for alpha women out there. These men will respect their alpha female and let her make the major decisions in the relationship. A woman of authority will cherish a man who doesn't mind taking a backseat. He may not have the job or status alpha females are used to, but he will have other qualities to offer the relationship that can be beneficial, like the ability to emotionally support in a way an alpha man can't.
Would “marrying down” lead to a happier couple?
Do a dominating woman and a man less concerned with control make a good match? Do ambitious women need husbands who are collaborators and not traditional breadwinners?
Alpha women are attracted to strong, assertive men just like them, but should seek a beta male partner. 'The Alpha Woman Meets Her Match’ author Sonya Rhodes explains: Alpha women should pair up with a beta male husband, someone who is less ambitious and perhaps makes less money.
She says alpha women are so unlucky in love because they are looking in the wrong place. Instead of seeking out a testosterone-driven alpha man to share their life, she argues, they should try pairing up with his responsible, supportive opposite: Mr Beta. “Alpha women may believe the alpha male is their natural partner; a breadwinner, similar to her – but although they might make an exciting relationship, they don’t make a good relationship,” she adds. “One will always want to assert their authority.” The pairing of two alphas, Dr Rhodes suggests, can result in a power struggle. A beta man will be more respectful and supportive of his partner, and not be threatened by her confidence or success. Beta men are dependable, responsible, and supportive. They also make the most fantastic fathers. They are cooperative but not compliant, accomplished but not workaholics, assertive but not confrontational.
But why does choosing a beta man sound like opting for second best?
Isn’t she just encouraging high-achieving women to marry beneath them? “I’m saying that you don’t have to put yourself in a gender box,” says Dr Rhodes. “It’s about expanding your horizons – finding a match who is supportive, respectful, who isn’t threatened by who you are or what you do.”
Today's romances suggest that growing numbers of smart women and men are marrying neither up nor down—they're just marrying the right person.
Two alphas is a recipe for disaster because two alphas will tend to compete for power and dominance.
If she chooses an alpha male to settle down with, she has to make sure he’s not exercising his right to date multiple women as well.
If she’s out with an alpha male, he won’t allow her to pay for the date anyway, in which case she’s met her match.
The vast majority of alpha females are hell bent on pursuing the romantic companionship of alpha males. “A relationship between an alpha male and an alpha female will never work out long-term. In the long-run, one of those two is going to seek total control of the relationship, and from that point forward, the relationship is destined to implode," said Alan Roger Currie, author of “Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking”